"Normative" bullying - Part 1 - Basics

Definition of "bullying"

There is no formally-agreed definition for the term "bullying", and it is important not to define "bullying" too widely, for if the problem is over-diagnosed, it trivializes the problem and makes it appear that bullying is "normal", where the traditional line of thinking goes, "It's normal, therefore it's OK".  Thus, I am opting for one of the narrower definitions of bullying:

Taking advantage of a perceived imbalance of power to repeatedly hurt/intimidate others, using force, threat or coercion.

"Normative" bullying

In many cases of bullying, the bullies are violating social norms.  But in "normative" bullying, the bullies actually see themselves as enforcing social norms.  A group within society sets up norms (unwritten, socially-enforced rules) that mandate compliance with conventional/traditional ways of doing, being and thinking, and rejects those who fail to comply.  When these norms are typically based on, "Because we said so", rather than wider moral considerations, it results in suppression of individuality and creative, independent thinking, and, worse still, marginalisation of vulnerable/minority individuals or groups purely because they are considered to be different.  But when, say, a group of native whites ostracise a black person because of his or her skin colour, often, they don't see it as discrimination, they see it as punishing the black person for failing to comply with their rules, by analogy with how the police punish criminals for failing to comply with the laws of the land.

In those cases, the bullying does become "normal" as far as the given social groups are concerned, and so they argue, "It's normal, therefore it's OK".  What is then needed is for society as a whole to turn around on them and argue either, "Just because something is normal, it doesn't make it right", or, "It's not normal as far as we're concerned".  But in practice we often get a problem where it becomes "normal" because too many bystanders stand there saying "That's life" instead of being pro-active in trying to address the problem, particularly if the social group has a lot of power.

In my experience this argument can be remarkably persuasive.  For example, I, as a very moderate drinker, had experiences at university of being rejected by social groups because their rules were, you got drunk regularly and partied until 3-4am in your halls of residence, or you faced rejection for being different.  Many bystanders, and even some authorities, took the line, "Well, it's your fault for being different.  You know what the rules are, so if you don't keep to their rules, that's your problem.  Keep to the rules and you won't be rejected by the group.  The rules are the rules, and there isn't a problem with the rules, because if everybody obeyed them, there wouldn't be a problem."  It is the same sort of response as motorists get when they complain about being fined for speeding.  

In this case, using a simplistic "social norms"-based approach to tackling such bullying is unlikely to prove effective, because the bullies are actually the ones who are claiming to be enforcing social norms.  Moral considerations have to take precedence over the need to have rules and enforce them, otherwise we leave the door wide open for people with comparative power to perpetuate this kind of bullying.

Why all of this is important

The above form of bullying is a major factor behind most issues relating to discrimination (racism, ageism, sexism, homophobia etc- it crops up in every case of it).  For instance, a group of white people may consider it acceptable to ostracize a black person because the black person's skin colour and/or ethnic background makes him or her stand out somewhat from the rest of the group, arguing, "Well, it's his/her fault for not fitting in."  Groups may develop prejudices against those that they consider to be different in some way, and then accept those prejudices/stereotypes without question, with the idea being, once such behaviour becomes "normal", it must therefore be OK.

As a society, instead of targeting this type of bullying, we generally try to legislate for it, and focus anti-bullying/discrimination efforts primarily against activities that, in terms of harm caused to the recipient(s), are actually relatively minor.  We try to clamp down against use of language that can reinforce stereotypes, and make a big thing of high-profile "one person's words against another" cases, like in the infamous English Premier League row between John Terry and Rio Ferdinand where, as part of a foul-mouthed exchange of abuse between the two players, John Terry made an inappropriate one-off reference to Ferdinand's skin colour.  While Terry's behaviour was unacceptable, it was hardly likely to be as damaging as cases where black people are routinely marginalized by social groups because of their skin colour, and yet it got far more attention.  As a result, the general public become in danger of being branded racists for making one-off misjudgements when they lose self-control in an argument, while groups that continue to marginalize ethnic groups for being different continue to get away with it because they argue that their behaviour is enforcing social norms (whereas in the above case John Terry was clearly violating social norms) and take in bystanders by arguing that "that's life" and "rules are rules".

All of this creates a public dislike of "political correctness" and related policies, which in turn damages public support for efforts to make headway against this type of bullying.